The agony that I feel by solitude
Wherefore no one loves me? What is wrong with humanity now? A clotpole like me was not meanteth to beest morn. Oh Rosaline, give me your heart and I’ll giveth thee my soul. I cannot rest in peace in this locked filthy room, for tis the prison of love.
If only you accepted my heart, I’d be happy forever. Lord Capulet, Friar Lawrence, Mercutio, Benvolio - every single one of my friends judging me for adoring you, yet they don’t know what the definition of love is. They’re all unsympathetic creatures that deserve to go what I am going through, otherwise, they do not have the right to judge me for who I am. I promise you Rosaline, when we meet up again, things will be different from what they were last time; you’ll love me. I’ll earn thy love, and thee will kiss it with your beautiful lips and see it with your big eyes. I will be the one who takes off your sweet didth coat, whether I like it or not, and fortunately for me, the idea of such dream makes me cry. Without thy love, I will drown in the deepest of the lakes, so please, accept me the way I am.
To Mercutio:
Do not try to address my love as a problem, for it is not just a problem, it is a poison that my heart has swallowed, and your help is not much appreciated, in fact, it is a liability. Stay away from me and everything will be alright - the best you could do is stay away from me if you’re going to try to convince me to ignore Rosaline. Don’t get me wrong, I love you as my friend, but not as my counselor, because you’re actually just a clown to me in that case.
To Benvolio:
I appreciate your affection towards me, but just like with Mercutio, you should keep away from giving me the hints you give me. But still, your tips come way more from the heart than Mercutio and are filled with honesty and true concern - Mercutio’s tips also come from his heart, but yours are just much less arrogant and have more crediblity in them because you are well… Benevolio, the most benevolent man that I know.
All my other friends:
Although you are not as close, I appreciate your concerns because you also write letters to me regarding this issue. Even though you will never read this diary until my message, in case I die without expressing any gratitude in person, please, whoever is reading this, show this message to them, because unlike with Benvolio and Mercutio, I don’t present my problems to them, in other words, I’m always wearing a mask when I see them.
Anyway, Benvolio is going to show me a beauty brighter than Rosaline according to him soon, but I doubt that’s possible.
We’ll see… at least I’ll get to see my heart there.
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